Little Bastard

Over the years my home has been a bit of a menagerie to many a critter. We’ve had rats in the cavity walls, mice in the kitchen, wasps outside our bathroom, birds in our attic, cats roaming our back yard and foxes on our hedges. Oh and Ants… The fecking ants.

My recent rodent problem was what got me think up this poem and by the way, they really do stink up the place if they die inside the house.

Little Bastard

Came in through a hole the size of its head

Scratching around while I’m in bed


The five inch beast that sounds like a monster

Will it break through the bricks and mortar?


Just nodding off and then the squeak

Wakes me from me precious sleep


It’s giving me night terrors, fuelling my anger

I’ll put holes in my walls with a heavy sledge hammer


To find the little bastard that’s making me crazy

I’ll catch that little fecker and show him no mercy


I can’t cope any more, I’ll bring the house down

That rat’s gonna get it, I’ll be wearing the crown


That’s the first blow and there’s the third

Keep running, I’ll catch you, you little turd


I’m in blind panic, he keeps getting away

I’m so desperate, mayday, MAYDAY


Holly shit, what have I done

My house has gone… little bastard won


Copyright © JRFC April 2018
Image from Pixabay, modified by JRFC

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