Little Bastard

Over the years my home has been a bit of a menagerie to many a critter. We’ve had rats in the cavity walls, mice in the kitchen, wasps outside our bathroom, birds in our attic, cats roaming our back yard and foxes on our hedges. Oh and Ants… The fecking ants.

My recent rodent problem was what got me think up this poem and by the way, they really do stink up the place if they die inside the house.

Little Bastard

Came in through a hole the size of its head

Scratching around while I’m in bed

 

The five inch beast that sounds like a monster

Will it break through the bricks and mortar?

 

Just nodding off and then the squeak

Wakes me from me precious sleep

 

It’s giving me night terrors, fuelling my anger

I’ll put holes in my walls with a heavy sledge hammer

 

To find the little bastard that’s making me crazy

I’ll catch that little fecker and show him no mercy

 

I can’t cope any more, I’ll bring the house down

That rat’s gonna get it, I’ll be wearing the crown

 

That’s the first blow and there’s the third

Keep running, I’ll catch you, you little turd

 

I’m in blind panic, he keeps getting away

I’m so desperate, mayday, MAYDAY

 

Holly shit, what have I done

My house has gone… little bastard won

 

Copyright © JRFC April 2018
Image from Pixabay, modified by JRFC

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s