Ninja Wasp

My last post brought up the question of wasp stings, which got me thinking about the story behind it. So for a change I’m gonna share my story in the shape of a… Well story. Do stories have shapes?

Anyhoo, this I cannot deny is a true story about Karma. Not only does karma bite you on the ass, it stings like a son-of-a-bitch.

Let me set the scene for you.

July and its beer garden weather. I’m on a works do, minding my own business, as I don’t, and we’re all enjoying a pint or three. Unfortunately, our locale in the garden was not best picked and we were getting bombarded; no this is not an extreme description, bombarded by wasps… Several wasps!

We’re into our ‘how many pints’ and by some fluky chance I happened to catch one of these yellow and black missiles in an upside down beer glass. Empty I might add, I wasn’t gonna waste a drop on that.

Now before the complaints start coming in, don’t stress all ended well for the wasp, the little shit.

Allow me to explain. One of the women who were out with us began to get a little annoyed at my antics so using a beer mat under the glass; she picked it up and freed the brute away from the group.

And they all lived happy ever after, right… So wrong.

It was my round so I went to the bar, ordered the drinks and went back to me seat where upon my neck began to itch. I went to scratch my neck, as you do and AAAHHHH LITTLE %$#!*@.

I swiped my neck and saw it fall to the ground. Now to most this was a normal sized innocent little wasp that felt threatened and stung me. Oh no no no. This was a yellow and black ninja wasp that was spawned from an Alien Chestburster.

It turns out, as I was so humorously told the following week, wasps can get drunk on the fumes of alcohol (false) and also send out a pheromone that attracts other wasp when they feel like they are in danger (true).

In hindsight it all makes sense and I should have realised at the time, its head butting the glass was a bit of a give-away.

So what’s the morale of this story… Don’t fuck with a wasp in an empty beer glass.

Karma I salute you.

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