Happy Halloween Guys and Gals!
Have I got a double whammy for you today with two posts being published. That’s right my Friends, you read it right; two!!
Up till now most of my posts have been short or shortish but today is kinda special and I’ve put the time in to go that little bit further. Imaging what Christmas is gonna be like (HoHoHo).
This first piece started off in my head as a poem but it kinda got a way from me and ended up more like a shortish story. I really hope you enjoy as much as I enjoyed written it.
Stay tuned for later when another premier will be featured.
Trick or Treat!!
Those Were the Nights
It’s not like it used to be, Halloween; Pahh. Candy, lollipops, and commercial trash. Kids in costumes, bigger kids acting stupid and adults trying to be kids acting like bigger kids acting stupid: idiots.
Knocking on my door as early as they do, “Trick or Treat” shameful; I’ll give them trick or treat. Bloody Kids, they got no idea what Hallowe’en is really about. Scandalous.
In my day we knew how to do All Hallows’ Eve. What’s it been, five maybe six hundred years ago; we had some fun. I haven’t had a decent drop of blood in ages. What with all the drugs and alcohol, I’m just too old for that stuff now. And the obesity, Trans Fatty Acids; try transfiguration it bloody hurts. My wings are like leather, all cracked and dry. I just can’t do the heights I used to.
Ahhh, those were the nights. I used to get up early evening, brush off the cobwebs and have a spider or three to whet the appetite. The large ones where particularly juicy. I’d hold them in my teeth, bite down and then… Pop. Gorgeous.
Once I’d cleaned myself up and put the kill from the night before out I’d be off to my local farmers for my nightly swine. That was healthy fat, none of this salsurated or polyunwotsit stuff; real fat.
I’d chill out for a bit; scare a couple of passers-by on the road into town. They shat themselves when they saw me coming from the sky. Then off to Ye Olde Pub to meet the gang around eleven. It was our once a year treat. No tricks to be seen anywhere. Unless you count the times when Vlad turned to fog, that was clever.
We all took it in turns to get a round in. At least one young virgin between us, sometimes two if we really felt like celebrating. Male or female didn’t matter, kept them hidden outside to keep them cool. Nobody ever found them, thicko’s.
When last orders were called that’s when the really fun began. That was the time we reveal ourselves. Not like that, get your mind out of the gutter. We started the scaring; slow to begin bearing teeth and claws, a grunt or two and then full on scare-the-bejesus out of them.
The looks on their faces was priceless when they saw us do our thang. First there was the panic, the screaming and the shouting. Then they’d be off to get whatever they could to use as weapons. Pitchforks and the like, the odd burning torch. Trying to band together in some sort of organised chaos. One year a villager came at me with a scythe, almost took my head off. Phew that was a close shave I can tell you.
Then it was our turn to crank it up a notch. All in good fun of course, burn off those extra calories. Oh I was on fire, figuratively speaking, can’t stand the stuff. Claws flailed while limbs flew and heads rolled. Teeth gleamed while blood squirted from body parts. Man; we were all high as kites after that. None of this artificial rubbish people take today, oh on. Adrenaline’s what did it, adrenaline mixed in with some O positive.
Unfortunately those nights were never long enough. There were some occasions when we were having so much fun we’d forget sun up. They were close calls believe me. I’ve got my fair share of singes. When all was done we’d hug it out and say our goodbyes. I’d usually get a take away for when I got back to my little crypt of paradise. Nothing to heavy a dog or a couple of cats and I’d settle down for a long sleep, maybe even a lie in for All Saints Day.
Oh Yeah! Those were Hallowe’en nights; hell on earth. Such fun!